Yeah, I’m talking directly to you. You really want that new deck. You’re gonna play it so much. Go ahead, dream all you’d like, but I’m here to make sure you don’t regret your life waking up at 6:15 AM after you stayed up until 2 in the morning thinking up lines for that sick War Rock Argostars deck you’re cooking. You won’t love that deck. You won’t even play it.
Sure, you have 58 copies of Secret Rare War Rock mountain. Used to be 60 but you used a couple as a coaster and now they’re a Marked Cards – Minor violation waiting to happen. Of course, the new Argostars XYZ looks almost good, if you forget the other 69 cards in the main-side-extra. But you going 0-4 in locals once, blaming “the sacky triple tactics draw” and “bricks in round 2, 3 and 4” is gonna cause heartbreak for only one of us. After all, according to someone who’s not Albert Einstein, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” and that’s you, resleeving the next unplayable 40-card-pile while gazing longingly into a framed copy of Isolde.
“But I’ve never read War Rock Mammud, let alone a good War Rocks card,” I smell you typing. Yeah, this one’s for you too. Put that Maliss list away. You think the deck is “affordable” since the expensive cards got slapped on their tiny cardboard wrists and those same wrists will lead you to top a YCS once Alliance Insight is out. Stop the delusions, the new secret will cost as much as a Myanmar minimum wage worker earns in a month. And that’s for a single copy. You could probably visit Myanmar’s delightful city Yangon for the entire playset. As for that YCS top… I’d like to kindly remind you that you won’t be the only person among the 2,000+ attendees running the same deck, if not the exact same list. Are you sure you’re better than all of them? Some may have even bought Pak’s $200/month Maliss spreadsheet, while you didn’t, since the entire genesis of you playing the deck appeared once you figured out that the deck might finally be affordable. Which it never was.
Look, I’m not here to deny your dreams of winning an air fryer and some high-fives from your friends, or kill your enjoyment of brewing the perfect guu from the common pile of the last set. I’m just some guy trying to watch over you, to make sure you don’t do the same mistakes I and countless others did. But you already HAVE a deck. One that you know how to pilot expertly, one that makes you excited every time you draw your favorite card, one that you love. And isn’t love what Yugioh is all about?
Credits: (in order of appearance)
